Well, this took longer than I expected. To actually write. I've been having a really good January. Maybe one of my best ever. Blogging when you're pumped on everything and writing project proposals etc etc is much harder to keep up with than when say, you're depress-y and feeling self-indulgent. My cat is sitting on the table behind me, fucking with something. Like a dick. A beautiful sweet terrorist, she is (her name's Z).
I've always been a fan of lists, so the closing of a year is a great time for me to be on the internet. Best new artists, top instagram accounts, favorite recipes as chosen by Kylie Jenner (candy floss green juices MM), most epic fails of Youtube, best cat pics. Things like that. I'm so big on ranking. I'm also big on symbolic change, which typically comes 3 times a year for me: the new year (an obvious one), when fall starts, and my birthday. I like my birthday. I like spending time with myself when I change, even if that change has been suggested to me rather than actually experienced.
I'm also big on knowing people's ages, and comparing myself via them. Too big. What was I doing at 23? At 30 will I have _____? I spend a lot of time thinking about what I have/haven't achieved according to my age, and consoling myself because x person was x age when they achieved x.
I'm going to work on getting rid of that this year. I remember turning 24 acutely because my achievements went from being interesting to ordinary. 24 is probably the most underwhelming age I have personally been. I have a real thing about being exceptional. I treat praise like it's fibre for my brain: I NEED IT. I'll work on that too.
It was a big year all around. 2015, for me at least, was like standing on the precipice of something really big. Like a cliff I'm going to jump off. Not to kill myself, but risk of injury (likely mostly to my ego) is understood and accepted. Ian and I bought a townhouse in Squamish. It was a year of soft-launching Serpent in which I made probably no profit (I'll deal with the actual numbers in April, advanced plea for your prayers because I HATE TAXES AND MATH) but learned so so much. More than I expected, which is par for the course. Something that I like about myself is that I will assume I can do anything until proven otherwise (usually mid-task. My poor adrenal glands).
I'm logging weddings. I just confirmed a seriously big project with a big company. My proposal for them was the most outlandish thing I could come up with and they said YES. I danced my cat around the apartment and high-fived Ian for 20 minutes non-stop. I need to get a contract signed and then I will telly you all about it.
My one resolution? In the vein of my favorite florist circa a few years back: TO WORK HARDER.